You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
