M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
