I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize