I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
