This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
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