): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Watching her eat just hurts me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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