so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
