i think my mom watched the whole time
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His hands were made for my vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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