could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
