"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
