I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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