Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
