I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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