On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
