Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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