ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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