I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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