Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So here I am, sexting at work.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
