We got so high we made milksteak
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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