dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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