Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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