worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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