highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
