went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize