she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
