I love black thongs
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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