Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
