So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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