I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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