There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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