lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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