I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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