If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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