I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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