normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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