So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
