Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
