College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
