I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
