good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize