"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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