Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
