this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
