Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
