I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize