I think my vagina is haunted
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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