well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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