yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
worst night to have a conscience
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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