My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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