those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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