hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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