does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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