dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
