i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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