he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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