come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
