Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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