look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize