dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
