Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize