What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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