12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
