glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize