I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
