I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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