sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
