Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
