Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
