Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
